Our Practices
Foundational practices for embodying and expressing The Experience of We
Practicing Deep Listening Together
A quick start guide
You can feel the difference between being heard and being listened to.
Being heard means the words landed somewhere. Being listened to means you landed somewhere. Your whole self, not just the information. When someone listens deeply, their body settles toward you. Their eyes are present. You can feel them taking you in, not just your words but the feeling underneath them. Something in your nervous system releases, because you don't have to work so hard to be received.
Most of the time, we don't listen like this. We listen while preparing our response. We listen through the filter of our own experience. We hear the first sentence and start composing what we'll say back. This isn't malice. It's habit. And it means that most of the time, we're talking to each other without ever quite meeting.
Deep listening is the practice of full receptive presence. Attending to the other person with our whole being. Receiving before responding. Understanding before reacting. It is one of the simplest things we can do for each other, and one of the most rare.
One practice to try
Think of a person in your life who’s open to experimentation, and invite them into trying something new with you.
The three-minute deep listen
Set a timer. For three minutes, one person speaks freely about whatever is alive for them. The listener's only job is to receive fully without losing presence.
No responding. No questions, no reactions, no "that reminds me of." Just receive.
Attend with your whole body. Face them. Let your eyes be soft. Feel yourself taking them in.
When the urge to respond arises, notice it. Let it pass. Return your attention to what they're saying, and what they're feeling underneath.
When the timer ends, pause. Let what they shared settle for a moment before you say anything.
Then switch. The listener becomes the speaker. The speaker becomes the listener.
Afterward, share what the experience was like. What was it like to speak into that quality of attention? What was it like to listen without preparing a reply?
The full guide, Practicing Deep Listening Together, has several practices for developing full receptive presence: emptying before listening, listening beneath words, giving presence rather than silence, and more. It also explores what blocks deep listening, how to listen during conflict, and why genuine reception is one of the deepest gifts we can offer.
Deep listening isn’t a technique. It’s an act of love. And every time we choose to truly receive each other, we’re saying without words: you matter enough for my full attention.
If this resonates, we recommend trying …
Coming Into Presence Together
Learning to Recognize Non-Verbal Cues Together
Sharing Reflections Together
