Our Practices
Foundational practices for embodying and expressing The Experience of We
Learning To Recognize Non-Verbal Cues Together
A quick start guide
Most of what we communicate, we never say.
A sigh that carries the weight of an entire day. A jaw that tightens when a certain topic comes up. The way someone's body turns toward us or away. The shift in their eyes when something we said landed differently than we intended. Words carry a fraction of the message. The rest travels through the body, the face, the voice, the quality of presence.
When we learn to read these signals, we gain access to a richer, more honest stream of information. Bodies don't lie the way words can. Someone may say "I'm fine" while their shoulders carry something heavy. Someone may insist nothing's wrong while their voice goes flat and their gaze drops. When we notice these signals, we can respond to what's actually happening, not just what's being said.
This isn't mind-reading. It's paying attention. And like any skill, it develops with practice.
One practice to try
Think of a person in your life who’s open to experimentation, and invite them into trying something new with you.
Checking what you see
The next time you notice a non-verbal shift in your companion, name it gently and check.
Notice the shift. A change in posture, a tightening of the jaw, a different quality in their voice, a shift in their eyes.
Name what you see, tentatively. "I noticed your shoulders just went up." "Something shifted in your face." "Your voice got quieter."
Ask, don’t assume. "What's happening?" or "Am I reading that right?" Offer your perception as a question, not a diagnosis.
Receive their response. They might confirm. They might say you're off. Either way, you've opened a door to something unspoken.
Hold your observation lightly. You'll misread sometimes. That's part of learning. The practice is the willingness to notice, name, and check.
One observation. One gentle check. Notice what becomes possible when the unspoken becomes speakable.
The full guide, Learning to Recognize Non-Verbal Cues Together, has several practices for developing this capacity: learning each other's baseline, attending to the body alongside words, tracking shifts in real time, developing awareness of our own non-verbal communication, and more. It also explores why the unspoken channel carries the majority of emotional truth and how reading it with accuracy is the foundation of genuine attunement.
The body is always speaking. Let us listen together.
If this resonates, we recommend trying …
Developing Interoception Together
Attuning Together
Exploring Shared Embodiment Together
