Our Practices
Foundational practices for embodying and expressing The Experience of We
Playing Together
A quick start guide
Not everything needs to be deep.
We spend so much of our relational energy on the serious work. Processing, repairing, understanding, growing. This work matters. But a relationship that is only serious is missing something essential. It is missing play.
Play is what we do for no reason except that it's enjoyable. Silliness without purpose. Laughter that doesn't need to accomplish anything. Games, jokes, spontaneity, fun. The lightness that balances the weight.
When we play together, something shifts.
We're not working on the relationship. We're enjoying it. We're not building toward something. We're being together in the present moment for its own sake. This is not a break from relationship. It is relationship at its most alive. And without it, relationships become heavy, dutiful, depleted. Play is not a luxury. It is oxygen.
One practice to try
Think of a person in your life who’s open to experimentation, and invite them into trying something new with you.
The spontaneous ten
Set a timer for ten minutes. During those ten minutes, your only job is to be playful together.
Don’t have an agenda. No processing. No logistics. No phones. Just play.
Be silly. Dance badly. Tell a joke. Play a game. Make up a song. Chase each other around the kitchen. Whatever play looks like for you, do it.
Let go of performance. Play doesn't have to be clever or impressive. It just has to be fun. If you're laughing, you're doing it right.
Notice what shifts. In your body. In the space between you. In your mood. Play does something to the nervous system that serious connection can't.
Don’t analyze it. Resist the urge to turn play into a lesson. Just let it be enjoyable.
Ten minutes of fun. No purpose beyond the joy of it. Notice what becomes available in the relationship after you've remembered how to play.
The full guide, Playing Together, has several practices for reclaiming play in relationship:
Finding what play looks like for you as a pair
Protecting play from the pressures that crowd it out
Building playfulness into daily life
Understanding why play matters as much as the deeper work
And more
It also explores play not as a break from relationship but as a vital dimension of connection.
Not everything needs to be deep. Sometimes what we need most is to laugh together.
If this resonates, we recommend trying …
Embracing Beginner’s Mind Together
