Our Practices
Foundational practices for embodying and expressing The Experience of We
Embracing Beginner’s Mind Together
A quick start guide
You used to find them fascinating.
When you first met, everything about your companion was new. The way they laughed. The stories they told. The way they saw the world. You asked questions you genuinely wanted answers to. You were surprised constantly. You were learning.
Something shifted. At some point, without noticing, you stopped discovering and started assuming. You built a model of who they are, what they think, how they'll react. The model got so complete that you started relating to it instead of the actual person sitting across from you. You know what they're going to say before they say it. You finish their sentences in your head. You've stopped looking, because you already know.
But here's the thing. You don't know. The person you built that model of has been changing every day. They've had thoughts they haven't shared, shifts they haven't named, growth you haven't noticed. The model is outdated. And the living person is right there, waiting to be seen again.
Beginner's mind is the practice of setting aside what we think we know and looking fresh. In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind, there are few.
One practice to try
Think of a person in your life who’s open to experimentation, and invite them into trying something new with you.
Ask a question you think you know the answer to
Pick something you're certain you know about your companion. Something basic. What they think about a topic, how they feel about a part of their life, what they want for the future.
Ask them directly, as if you don’t know. "What do you actually think about [this]?" "How do you feel about [that] these days?"
Listen without correcting. If their answer surprises you, resist the urge to say "But you always said..." Just receive what they're telling you now.
Let their current answer by the real one. Even if it contradicts your model. Especially if it contradicts your model.
Notice what happens. How many of your certainties turn out to be outdated? How does it feel to discover something new about someone you thought you already knew?
One question. That's all. But that one question says: I'm still curious about who you are.
The full guide, Embracing Beginner's Mind Together, has seven practices for seeing each other fresh: noticing the models we carry, practicing "I don't know," looking with fresh eyes, building mutual beginner's mind as a shared orientation, and more. It also explores what happens when our models calcify, what dissolves them, and how to work with the real challenges of fresh seeing, including what to do when looking clearly reveals something difficult.
The person we've been with for years is not the same person we met. Neither are we. Beginner's mind lets us meet again. If that one question revealed something you didn't expect, there is so much more to discover.
If this resonates, we recommend trying …
Exploring Curiosity Together
Playing Together
Developing Awareness Together
