Our Practices
Foundational practices for embodying and expressing The Experience of We
Telling Our Story Together
A quick start guide
We’re always telling stories. Not just to each other. Inside our own minds.
We narrate our days. We build explanations for why things happen. We tell ourselves stories about who we are, what we're like, what we value. And we tell ourselves stories about our relationship: how it began, what defines it, where it's heading.
These stories aren't decorations laid over a deeper reality. They’re the lens through which we experience it.
When our stories are in sync, communication flows. We feel understood. We have common ground. When our stories fall out of sync, we talk past each other. We feel unseen. We're baffled by reactions that don't make sense from within our own narrative.
The practice is telling our stories to each other. Examining them together. Keeping them flexible and current as we grow and change. When we align our stories, we align our worlds.
One practice to try
Think of a person in your life who’s open to experimentation, and invite them into trying something new with you.
The story check
Choose one thing that happened between you recently. A conversation, a decision, a moment. And each of you tell the story of what happened. Your version.
Take turns. One person shares their story of the event. The other listens without correcting.
Tell the whole story. What happened, what you felt, what it meant to you, what you think it meant for the relationship.
Then your companion tells their version. Same event. Often a different story.
Notice the differences. Not to decide who's right. To understand where your narratives diverge. "I didn't know you experienced it that way." "I see now how that landed differently for you."
Build a shared version. Not by erasing differences, but by holding both perspectives. "So for you it was this, and for me it was that. Both are real."
One shared event. Two stories. One moment of recognition that we experience the same moments differently. That recognition is itself a form of connection.
The full guide, Telling Our Story Together, has several practices for shared narrative:
Examining the stories we carry
Updating narratives that have become rigid
Co-creating a shared story of the relationship
Keeping stories flexible over time
And more
It also explores how stories shape perception and why aligned narratives create alignment in the relationship.
When we align our stories, we align our worlds. Let’s tell our stories together.
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