Our Practices
Foundational practices for embodying and expressing The Experience of We
Grieving Together
A quick start guide
Loss is part of life. And grief is how we metabolize it.
People die. Relationships end. Dreams don't happen. Chapters close. The self we once were gives way to someone new. These losses accumulate across our life. They need somewhere to go. They need to be felt, honored, and slowly released.
Grief is often lonely. We withdraw. We feel that our sorrow is too much for others. We smile and say we're fine while the weight presses on our chest.
But grief was never meant to be carried alone.
Humans have always grieved in community. When we grieve together, the loss doesn't become smaller. But we become larger. We discover we can hold what we could not hold alone.
One practice to try
Think of a person in your life who’s open to experimentation, and invite them into trying something new with you.
Being with
When grief is present, one of the most powerful things we can do is simply be with it together. Not fixing. Not explaining. Not rushing it.
When your companion is grieving, be present. Sit with them. You don't need the right words. You don't need any words. Your presence is the offering.
Resist the urge to try and make it better. "Everything happens for a reason." "At least..." "They're in a better place." These reflexes come from discomfort, not care. Let the grief be what it is.
Offer your body, if it feels right. A hand. An arm around them. Just sitting close. The nervous system receives comfort through proximity and touch faster than through words.
Follow their lead. If they want to talk, listen. If they want silence, be quiet. If they want to cry, let them. Your job is to be here, not to direct the process.
Share your own grief when you’re ready. Grief isn't one-directional. If you share a loss, grieve it together. Let your tears be witnessed. Let sorrow have space.
No fixing. No rushing. Just being with. That's the practice that makes grief bearable.
The full guide, Grieving Together, has several practices for holding loss as a shared experience:
Being present with each other's grief
Grieving shared losses together
Working with the different ways we grieve
Understanding why companionship is what grief most needs
And more
It also explores grief not as something to get over but as something to move through together.
Grief was never meant to be carried alone. Let’s carry it with each other.
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