Our Practices
Foundational practices for embodying and expressing The Experience of We
Co-creating Trust Together
A quick start guide
Trust is something our bodies learn.
We tend to think of trust as a decision. "I trust you" or "I don't." But trust lives in the body before it lives in the mind. Through thousands of small moments, our nervous systems learn what to expect from each other. A glance returned. A need responded to. A vulnerability held with care.
Each of these moments deposits something. Over time, the body accumulates an answer to the question: When I show you something real about myself, what will happen?
When the answer has been consistently "something good," the body softens. We open. We can rest in each other's presence. When the answer has been inconsistent, we stay braced. We hold back. We protect.
Trust isn't something we declare. It's something we build. One reliable moment at a time. And it can always be rebuilt, as long as we're willing to do the work.
One practice to try
Think of a person in your life who’s open to experimentation, and invite them into trying something new with you.
The reliable follow-through
Choose one small thing you've committed to, or make one new small commitment, and follow through on it. Consciously. Visibly.
Make it specific. "I'll put my phone away during dinner." "I'll ask how your meeting went." "I'll handle that thing I said I would."
Follow through. Not because you'll be punished if you don't, but because consistency is how the nervous system learns.
Let it be noticed. Maybe you announce it. Maybe you don’t. But if your companion sees you doing what you said you'd do, the body registers it. Trust deposits.
If you can’t follow through, say so. Honest renegotiation builds trust. Silent failure erodes it. "I realized I can't do that tonight. Can we adjust?"
Notice the accumulation. One follow-through doesn't build trust. Many do. This is a practice of consistency over time.
Trust isn't built in grand gestures. It's built in the small things we do reliably. Let the small things count.
The full guide, Co-creating Trust Together, has several practices for building, maintaining, and repairing trust: understanding what trust feels like in the body, recognizing trust-building and trust-eroding moments, working with broken trust, creating the conditions where the nervous system can finally relax, and more. It also explores trust as a living thing that needs ongoing tending.
Trust is the body's accumulated answer. Let us give each other good answers, one moment at a time.
If this resonates, we recommend trying …
Assuming and Embodying Positive Regard Together
Practicing Vulnerability Together
Creating Safety Together
