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Creating a common language base for relationships

Power

We experience power as the capacity to shape conditions—within ourselves, between one another, and across systems—in ways that influence safety, possibility, and the unfolding of life. Power is not a thing we possess, but a dynamic force that emerges through relationships, structures, and contexts.

In relational terms, power arises wherever there is asymmetry: differences in resources, authority, information, physical capacity, social positioning, or nervous system regulation. These asymmetries are not inherently harmful. Power becomes generative or destructive depending on how it is oriented, distributed, and metabolized within a relational field.

In the Dominator Model, power is experienced as control. It is concentrated, defended, and enforced through fear, coercion, or dependency. Power is treated as scarce—something to seize, protect, or submit to. This framing turns power into a zero-sum force, eroding trust and conditioning relationships around compliance or resistance rather than mutuality.

In the Partnership Model, power is experienced as relational capacity. It circulates rather than concentrates, emerging through attunement, shared responsibility, and co-regulation. Power is expressed not through domination, but through the ability to participate, respond, and contribute meaningfully to the health of the whole.

Within The Experience of We, the direction of the relational field is shaped by how power flows. When power is concentrated, coercive, or defended, it organizes experience toward Separation—fragmentation, distrust, and disconnection. When power is shared, transparent, and relationally accountable, it supports Reunion—the restoration of trust, co-regulation, and shared reality.

Relationally, healthy power supports agency without isolation and belonging without self-erasure. It allows us to remain distinct while connected, accountable while free. When power is held with care, transparency, and consent, it becomes a stabilizing and creative force—one that enables trust, resilience, and collective intelligence to emerge.

Related Concepts:
Commitment | Balance | Attunement

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Nuances from the greater We Space

  • As we introduce these concepts and definitions, we strive for simplicity in service of practical usefulness. And, we are aware that no verbal definition can ever encompass the complexity and expansiveness of subjective experience.

    And so, we invite you, our co-creators, to join us in exploring and expanding these terms, here in the comments.